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What Not to Do With Your PS2

July 05, 2006 | 2 Minute Read

Back when my anime blog was in its infancy, I was writing video game related posts, too. Today I was cleaning up my previous entries, and came across one about the warning pictures from the PS2 manual. I figured it would be more at home here, so without further ado, I present “What Not to Do With Your PS2”:

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Do not unplug the Playstation at any time. It will become aware of your treachery, flip out, and kill people.

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Making Japanese tea near your PS2 will cause it to return to the ether stream from whence it came.

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Do not place your PS2 near an air conditioner. ACs hate other appliances. Didn’t you watch The Brave Little Toaster?

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Do not plug your Playstation 2 in during a thunderstorm. You will instantly die.

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Do not stab your power cord with a broadsword.

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The Xbox360 will totally fubar your discs. Get a PS2 instead.

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Your Playstation 2 is already black. It does not need to get a tan.

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Do not insert Staryu, Luvdisc, or any other Pokemon into your Playstation 2. This isn’t a freakin’ Gamecube!

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Do not install a flip top loader. Sony DRM will take your hand if you do.

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Do not let your little brother play with the Playstation 2. He’s an idiot.

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Pwnd!

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Do not go backpacking to the Swedish Alps while leaving your Playstation 2 unplugged in your transparent house. This is just common sense.

The following are from the US version of the PS2 manual:

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Do convice your mom that Playstation 2 is more important than groceries. Make her buy one in the rain. That’ll teach her for making daddy leave us!

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Do not let your mom try to play Rez with the trance vibrator in the bathtub with the shower on. Hey, your mom is hot!

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Damn it! Tell your mom to clean somewhere else! And make me a sandwich!